Learning to Walk To Life

My progress has brought me to a 52 pound weight loss. I kinda can't believe it. In only three months, 52 pounds. It's truly a blessing to have had this surgery. I am feeling better physically than I have in many years. I am thrilled and so grateful. Soon it will be time to buy new clothes. Thus far it has been amazing and I learn something new, just about every day.

For years being overweight was this big thick black cloud over my head. I was constantly aware of it, and it blocked me from so many things. Now the cloud is lifting and the bright sun is overwhelming at times. There are so many different directions and much freedom in front of me now that I no longer have to focus on the black cloud.

I lost weight and am feeling better and looking better. To that I say now what, exactly?? It's not an uncommon feeling for people who have lost weight quickly. I know what I would do if I won a big money in the lotto but I never asked myself what will I do if I lose a lot of weight. It sounds simple but it's not simple at all. I realize that projecting more confidence will open doors for me and make things easier, but what exactly does that mean ? 

I tend to be hard on myself and expect a lot so one of my goals is to slow down and not freak out if I can't change my life as quickly as I am losing weight. It's different for everyone, but for me I just want to take my time and figure out what changes I really want to make. If for years all you focused on was the fact that you are overweight and that suddenly changes, it can be a strange road to a better life. I am trying to figure it out and am trying to be okay with the slow movement. 

The hormonal changes that come with losing weight seem to be throwing things off for me. It's a lot like when a child is learning to walk for the first time; they want to run everywhere but need they need to get used to walking first. They fall and get up and go again, and they always learn. With rapid weight loss it feels like the mind needs to catch up to the body. It's exciting and stressful all at the same time. 

I am just really happy with my progress and can't believe it sometimes. Now if I can figure out the rest of it, I will be golden.