Angry Chewing

Well it's time to talk about head hunger. It's the one thing that makes the difference between success and failure with weight loss surgery. It is the reason why weight loss surgery is not the easy way out. I am learning finally how to recognize it and luckily have been able thus far to not give into it. 

It's something I never saw the difference in with real hunger. This week lets just say I had some stress and boy did I have this urge to eat. It stemmed from strong emotions, and luckily I didn't give in. There is also something that I call angry chewing; eating when you are angry about something or while you are in the middle of feeling something stressful. It causes you to eat too big of a bite and not chewing enough or chewing too fast. In the past that anger wouldn't have even come up because food would have stuffed it, but now by eating so little, it shows its head ugly very prominently. The knee jerk reaction to it comes in the form of telling myself I want to eat. I am so grateful I didn't. Not that I know how I didn't, but I resisted. 

Angry chewing is interesting because you are not even paying attention to what you are doing, just what you are feeling. I let that feeling take over and chew for me. I am learning how bad it is to do that. With distraction of emotion is not the time to eat. I am realizing how every time I eat I have to really pay attention to the food and what I am doing. Give the food the time of day. Stop and just be and enjoy the food. If angry or otherwise stressed, hold off eating. These are things I never even took into consideration. One thing that I love about my sleeve is that it is unforgiving. It's in charge now and that's a good thing. However, its not exempt from relinquishing that power. If you push it enough times it will stretch. Everything has its breaking point. 

What and how much we eat is often tied into what we feel and how we express it. The key, I guess is to find an alternative way to express that feeling. Food enhances what ever we are feeling. In a way chewing is a form of expression. If you are angry, chewing is devouring whatever is making you angry. For weight loss surgery patients that angry chewing can become very painful and lead to throwing up. 

It was three months ago today I had my surgery and everyday, with every experience I am learning something new that I needed to. I am grateful for the lessons. I hope I continue learning how to not give in to powerful stress and emotions. For me, it can mean awful pain and discomfort. Down with stress I say.