My progress this week was slow, only down 1 pound. I'm told stalls and slow loss weeks can happen. My next challenge is I can finally go off pureed foods next week. I am a little nervous, and trying to figure out high protein low carb meals to make. I love to cook, so this will be fun. I am still eating about 4ozs. of food per meal. I will find out next week on my next visit to the surgeon's office if I am supposed to increase that or not. I can't imagine eating more than that.
I also have my first support group meeting this week; I am looking forward to that. I have also found some online communities that have been very helpful and supportive. I was so happy that this blog was helpful to someone in the community who is considering this surgery. That's what I am hoping to accomplish. It also reached South Africa and Australia. Wow.
Reading people's comments this week on the forums made me think about the attitudes towards being overweight and I want to share some insight on the subject. I remember through the years, several times people saying to me, "You have such a pretty face, if only you would lose the weight." or "You would be so pretty if you would just lose some weight." Um, okay thanks? I know people mean well, but this is a difficult thing for a person to hear. I am not bashing anyone, I am just showing some examples of what people say in trying to be helpful. A very long time ago, I was even called a walrus. I've been called other various things, and gotten very dirty looks while commuting to my job in Manhattan a few years back on the Long Island Railroad. Apparently because I am overweight, I should not be sitting on the LIRR. I was asked to move numerous times, but refused every time. I've been rejected in dating situations numerous times, which is par for the course.
My point being that in general, society views being fat as a fate worse than death. I once heard a poll was taken asking if you had a choice of being unemployed or overweight which would you prefer. 75% of those asked would rather be unemployed. Wow. That was hard to hear. It is one of the most widespread, acceptable prejudices in the world. Yet no one ever says a word if fat jokes or negative comments are made. It's just universally agreed - being fat is a very bad thing. There is nothing desirable, or attractive or admirable about being overweight.
Let's face it, I hated it about myself. I don't like being this way, but the very thing I hated the most is the very thing I couldn't conquer. The worst thorn in my side I will ever have is being overweight. Since this surgery I have learned quite quickly how much it is truly a complex physiological, mutli-layered problem that cannot be dieted away in many cases. It effects every aspect of our being; physical, emotional and spiritual. I blamed myself for something that was much bigger than me. Our human bodies are so incredibly complex. To think its a matter of self control alone vs. having the actual ability to stop eating is simplistic. It has many components that come from within as well as without.
I guess the main take away I am hoping for here is that the next time we think about what it is to be overweight, remember that the obese members of society are people. We hurt a great deal having the most undesirable condition in the world. We are not necessarily lazy and neglectful of ourselves, we have a problem, just like everyone else. Whether its an addiction or disease or not, is not really the most important thing. The bottom line is, for one reason or another, the obese person is just not doing what needs to be done to overcome obesity. I hope people will start considering this the next time they either think about or say anything obesity.
For years I let it define me and not in a good way at all. I certainly never want to do that again. I now think of it as a physiological condition. How else can I have overnight, have no interest in food anymore? There is a hormone that gets produced in the part of the stomach that they removed. With that hormone production gone, amazingly so are my cravings and thoughts about food. There is a possibility that the hormone can return after about a year and a half. The research is not conclusive, and hopefully it won't return for me. I will have to deal with it accordingly, if it does. But for now, it is helping me overcome obesity.
I am hoping for no stalls and a good loss this week. I am determined to make this work for me. I have a new found empathy for those who are struggling with obesity. Again, I find myself so incredibly grateful.
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