The Broccoli Incident

Another week gone by already. It's amazes me how time zooms by. This week was pretty good. I am doing very well in terms of how much I am eating and sticking to healthy low-carb meals. I did have a huge fight with a piece of raw broccoli. I was cooking and wasn't thinking, I ate a piece and didn't chew well enough. Big mistake, oh man it was soooo painful and I returned some of it. The pain lasted a good 20 minutes and I had this awful taste in my mouth. I will never do that again. The last thing I want to do is anger my sleeve. I can laugh about it now, but ouch.

 

I am also struggling with an inner shaky feeling all over. I had blood work to check it and it came back showing low iron, so that could be the reason. More investigating has to be done. It's an awful feeling that comes and goes and I hope to get it under control soon.

 

I found a few great books to read about the process of adjusting to a new life and losing weight. It's great because I am learning how a lot of people experienced the same things good or bad that I am. It made me think about how everyone struggles with something in their lives. Whether its family, job, money, love, substance abuse, handicaps, obesity, anxiety, depression, etc. we all have something to deal with. I also believe that adversity of any type builds character. I know that sound cliché, but it really is true. It fosters sensitivity and compassion. Things that are easy to forget in this brash world. It's necessary to have some struggles in order to grow and learn and make us complete.

 

Obesity isn't my only struggle, but it is the biggest. Now that I am dealing with my weight, I still need to build up the rest of my life. Knowing what you want is half the battle; I am not sure what building up my life looks like. Now that I don't feel like hiding as much, where am I going? Some days I have this very antsy feeling like I want to run out and say I'm here, look at me and what I am improving about myself. It's strange considering for so long I didn't want anyone to see me. In some ways I feel like I graduated  from school again and am not sure what direction to go now.

 

This part is up to me, and that's an even tougher thing sometimes. I am thinking of volunteering for the hospital. I like being productive and want to give something back for this incredible gift I've been given. It will be a little while due to time in between the orientation they offer, but I think it will be very enjoyable. It's a start.

 

I can't wait to start exercising again. I have more energy and less pains and of course less weight so I am ready to go. I haven't done much exercising in a very long time. Clothes are getting big on me already, and it still blows my mind everyday how different my mind is when it comes to food. I have been able to take back control and that was the hardest part about this struggle. I hope others can find helpful paths and people, like I did to help them with their struggles.