It's Coming

Spring is in the offing... Finally, with Spring comes that feeling of renewal and awakening like no other time of the year. Beautiful flowers and the warmth we've all missed so much over this long snowy winter are on their way. It's the new beginning we all need and it happens every year. I love this time of year.

Being an overweight person all my life I always felt left out of being able to wear shorts and little dresses because of how I looked. Sad, how much being overweight forces us to alter about ourselves. We try to hide the one thing we cannot, and yet now that I am losing weight, I am still the same person inside. All the physical changes cannot really change who I am which leads me to wonder what will really change for me? I won't suddenly become less lonely or more social. I certainly won't become rich. Those are things I still have to work on.

The difference is that I won't feel ashamed or embarrassed and I won't have that feeling of dread that people won't like me because of my size. I will feel like the playing field is more even. Now people might be more willing to get to know me. I am still the same person who loves to laugh and joke around. One who loves animals and art and being kind and compassionate. I am still the same person who isn't great with money and doesn't always make the best choices. I remain creative and curious about life. I still love to dance and tease my friends mercilessly. I am still not the smartest person and I still sell myself short with career.

My shortcomings don't change overnight because my weight changes. Those things still need to be explored and worked on. My point in all this is for those contemplating weight loss surgery should not expect their whole lives to change just because they are suddenly thinner. Improvement is a lifelong, interactive process.

I for one am happy not to lose the sense of compassion and kindness. I am glad it won't change my core. I am glad I will still be the same on the inside. Perhaps better. I am more grateful and relieved that I don't have to worry about as many health issues. My weight loss journey was a huge undertaking that took months and it was great. I now can focus on improving my other shortcomings. Sometimes its those shortcomings that make us interesting or endearing to others. There is more room now for focusing on improving other things. It should be an interesting voyage going forward.