A Journey Worth Taking: What The World Needs Now

A Journey Worth Taking: What The World Needs Now: Are our society's human relations damaged beyond repair? Are compassion, understanding and tolerance becoming extinct? Do self-care and...

What The World Needs Now

Are our society's human relations damaged beyond repair? Are compassion, understanding and tolerance becoming extinct? Do self-care and consideration for others have to be exclusive of one another? God I hope not! These things came to mind recently when I had an issue with someone that I am dating and I brought it up in an online weight loss surgery forum for an objective opinion. The issue itself isn't important, but what is important to me was the overwhelming narrow-minded dis-compassionate response I got from almost everyone. I am sad to say, mostly from women. 

Why are we so quick to string someone up by their toenails when an issue arises rather than examine things from both sides, especially ourselves. I find personal inventory is unbelievably non-existent.  The easy way of throwing out the baby with the bath water was much more spoken about than discussing and working through a problem. I really don't get it. On top of that, my character was bombarded with several inaccurate negative judgments. Have people really become this angry and intolerant of someone's behavior that we can't discuss it before immediately labeling them as pond scum?? Do we really believe that everyone speak or act perfectly at ever turn? Is it so difficult to look at our own role in a relationship issue? Wow, a scary thought for sure.

It is alarming to me how on so-called "reality tv" shows revere staunch war for simple disagreements of opinions and unsavory traits. Are we that addicted to drama? When did we become so harsh? I am not in any way shape or form saying to not voice disharmony when something is annoying or hurting us, not at all, but I don't think we have to permanently dislodge someone from our lives because they said something negative. What I am saying is I think we need to examine and talk about said problems. In fact it is our responsibility to inform the person that your behavior is effecting me, please stop. Even if it takes a few times to get the point across; learned behavior is a process and may require us to speak up more than once, and that's ok. There are always two people in every relationship.

I was quite shocked at how defensive women got by my expressing disagreement with their opinions. You would have thought I slapped them in the face. Actually the issue I was referring to turned out to be a communication thing more than an actual issue and partially my own fault. That is my point, we all need to look at our own role when something is upsetting us. It is so important to communicate as cleanly has possible as much as possible. It was disturbing how angry and intolerant the woman in this forum were and how quickly they were ready to crucify and judge me. I am not so sure we don't need a refresher course in human relations. Aren't we still brethren of the same universe? Remember kindness, compassion, understanding, and tolerance? If you look real hard, you can almost see them in the distance.

A Journey Worth Taking: In This Moment

A Journey Worth Taking: In This Moment: In this moment I feel at peace. In this moment I believe in myself. In this moment I know my weight loss surgery was the best thing I e...

In This Moment

In this moment I feel at peace.

In this moment I believe in myself.

In this moment I know my weight loss surgery was the best thing I ever did for myself.

In this moment I can celebrate.

In this moment I feel happy.

This moment is all I really have. It's amazing how much I think about and try to orchestrate the future outcomes of my life. It's also amazing how little I can actually orchestrate The future outcomes of my life. I realized recently how much of a control freak I am. Not when it comes to other people, but when it comes to the way I want things to go for me. For some strange reason, I believe that if I do things perfectly, in a precise way, I WILL have the desired outcome. Nothing could be further from the truth.

This post will be sort of a mixed bag because of Father's Day and things I want to write about. I got a good report from my surgeon's office, I lost another 13 pounds last month and I am thrilled. I read a lot of posts from fellow bariatric surgery patients and how much they do everything they are supposed to and are not losing weight. They are most likely at a stall but it speaks to prove my point that you can do everything right and things still won't necessarily go the way you wanted to. We all have to live life on life's terms. That is a hard lesson for me to learn and practice.

I think it is safe to say that after six months of losing weight I have adjusted to eating better and losing weight. It's not always easy, but I am doing it. I am not resisting it. My direction is there. I feel it in my gut (pun, sorry). Dining out is usually challenging; most places give such large portions. I always get three meals out of one. I guess I am a cheap date.

Speaking of dating, I am. I am seeing someone for the first time since my weight loss. I won't go into too much detail yet, but the one thing I notice is how much better my sense of self is. How much more I value myself and how I am much more ready to let someone love me. It's amazes me. It's sad, but unfortunately weight plays into that so much. I am always afraid to say that things are going well, because when they don't I will feel like an idiot. As if I failed and it's my fault. Even if it is my fault and I fail, so what. I am trying hard to learn that I don't have to be perfect, it doesn't mean I am stupid. I just don't have control over the outcomes I want. It's a good thing too because I firmly believe that things don't work out for a good reason. Things go the way they are supposed to go.

I will write more about my dating life another time, but for now I want to mention Fathers.

How special Fathers are; the strength, the comfort, the example, the protection we get from Fathers is very unique. Fathers are the north star. They are our center, our core.

I have so many memories of my Dad. He was amazing. He didn't have to say much, and his gifts to me were endless. Through their toughness, their children soften them like no one else. It's a very special role in a man's life. I know several Dads and the one thing that make them very special is how they are about their children. Everything else in the world pales in comparison to a man's children. I miss my Dad very much and I hopefully live as the person he taught me to be.

So in this moment, I wish all the Dads out there a very Happy Father's Day.

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?: During the course of our lifetime we hear so many opinions about so many things. Everything from what foods are good for you to what is app...

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?: During the course of our lifetime we hear so many opinions about so many things. Everything from what foods are good for you to what is app...

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?

A Journey Worth Taking: Understand The Voice Within, Can You Hear It?: During the course of our lifetime we hear so many opinions about so many things. Everything from what foods are good for you to what is app...